I love Valentine's Day...

Valentine's Day is not my favorite holiday- I actually thought it was kind of pointless- shouldn't you always do things to let your loved ones know you love them?  Why should you be expected to do something on one specific day? But on Valentine's Day this year my boyfriend and I decided to go on a date- to Little Italy- a local restaurant that we both love and then we went to Mezamiz- where we had our first date on July 25th and we have been there several times since.  It was kind of crowded but "our table" with the cabbage salt & pepper shakers was open.

Kirk read me 27 (my favorite number) reasons why he wanted to marry me then got down on one knee and proposed!  I responded with "Yes!! Thank you!!"  Thank you for all of the nice things you just said to me, thank you for this beautiful ring, thank you for loving me and my children, thank you for asking me to marry you!  Best Valentine's Day gift EVER!!! 

Valentine's Day will forever be a special holiday to me- not because of flowers or chocolate- but because on Valentine's Day my best friend asked me to marry him and I can not wait for us to spend the rest of our lives together!

Go Beamers Blue!!!

This was Makenzie's first year to do competitive cheerleading- she has really enjoyed it and has learned so much!  Their squad ranges from 2nd-6th grade and their last competition, Nationals, was this weekend.  They did not get 1st place, but as a squad they performed their very best and that was my hope and prayer for them- that none of their stunts would fall and that each girl would know that she did her best! 

At the beginning of the summer only a couple of girls could tumble on their own but by January and their last 3 competitions all of the girls but one had a tumbling pass in the routing- including Makenzie!!!!  I can not believe that she can tumble- I didn't learn to tumble until 6th or 7th grade- it brought tears to my eyes each time I watched her do her round off backhandspring in the routine- so very proud!

Such a great group of girls- the older girls were great leaders and role models for Makenzie.  She wants to try out again next year!!  We love cheer!!!

1 year ago today...

1 year ago today my divorce was finalized.  I thought it was such a terrible and disgraceful thing.  There was so much shame and guilt and fear.  Definitely a hard day. But there was some relief in knowing that it was over.  I can honestly say that I did everything that I could do to save my marriage.  The conclusion that we came to was that Bryan and I wanted to live different kinds of lives- there was no yelling and screaming that day in October 2011- we both knew that we weren't happy and wanted different things in life and he moved out.  I had to stand up for what I felt was right for my kids and I and if that meant that I was going to be a single mom then so be it.  I had to accept that I might be single forever- and I was ok with that.  My kids come first- they are the most important things in my life.  My prayer for my kids is that their parents' divorce not cause them harm- I would do anything I could to protect my kids from pain and modeling an unhealthy marriage for them to grow up and replicate would be very painful.  I never ever thought that I would get divorced and used to kind-of judge people who did (just as I felt people judging me) I thought they just didn't try hard enough- but like most things in life- you can not understand a situation fully until you experience it- I have learned that I can only control myself and other people get to make their own decisions.  Things don't always go as we think or want them to but I believe that God is in control and that everything happens for a reason.  Looking back, I can not say that I would change anything in my past- because those events have made me the person that I am today and I could not image my life without my 3 precious children and all of the amazing support and encouragement from people around me.  This is part of my story and I feel like it has absolutely strengthened my relationship with God and has made me a stronger person.